Do you take things easy and are laid-back and have no trouble finding partners? Or have you wondered why love passes you by when you look for perfection? Relationships are tricky things, and it usually depends on our personality and approach as to how successful we are in finding a suitable partner. So when it comes down to boy-girl-relationship, are you too choosy?

1. Would you say that most of the people you’ve gone out with were:
a. Like dream dates on first acquaintance, with feet of clay coming into view later.
b. A rather motley crew that came along on life’s roundabout.
c. Strong forces that have shaped your destiny and molded your character.
d. Rather too few to constitute a representative example.
e. Frankly, getting worse.

2. Before you hit puberty, the most important influence in your life was:
a. The neighbor’s kid.
b. Your teacher, or parents.
c. Your favorite idol.
d. Your pet.

3. A mug you’re very fond of develops a crack. Would you:
a. Probably not notice unless it completely fell apart?
b. Hunt diligently for a similar one to replace it?
c. Chuck it out, it’s ruined?
d. Mend it painstakingly because it’s so precious to you?

4. What do other people notice most about your room?
a. That it constantly changes, according to your mood or latest life-phase.
b. How full of old, jumbled, much-loved objects it always tends to be.
c. The rare and lovely pieces you have collected over the years.
d. How clean, organized and tidy everything is.
e. Your enthusiasm for the latest fad.

5. Someone you can’t remember rings to ask you out. Do you:
a. Spend some time talking on the telephone to find out if he/she seems the sort of person you would enjoy going out with?
b. Start to fantasize about what he/she is like; mysterious admirers are turn-on?
c. Say no as a matter of principle; it’s sure to be a con?
d. Say yes, just to give it a whirl?
e. Say no at first, but weaken if he/she is very persistent and persuasive?

6. Which of the following statements do you find yourself most in sympathy with?
a. The persistence of marriage truly represents the triumph of hope over experience.
b. There are probably a hundred or more people you could be quite happy with; it’s just a question of who’s around at the critical decision time.
c. The fear of loneliness is greater than that of slavery, so we get married.
d. It is better to travel hopefully than to arrive.
e. ‘Of all the hang-outs in all the world, you had to walk into mine.’

7. He/she has 75 percent of the qualities you consider important in a partner, but he/she wears baggy tartan pants and has never heard of Maroon5 or Westlife. What’s your reaction?
a. Change him/her.
b. Learn to love those baggy tartan pants and listen to the music you love by yourself.
c. Concentrate on learning about all the things that he/she can teach you.
d. Decide regretfully that there can be no future in it.
e. What does it matter so long as he loves you.

8. On a first date, what do you consider most important?
a. Whether you’ll get a kiss at the end of it or not.
b. Going somewhere quiet where you can talk and find out about each other.
c. Finding your star signs are compatible.
d. Convincing him/her you are devastating, delectable and desirable.
e. Finding out as much as possible about his past, e.g. is he attached, and does he like members of the opposite sex?

9. It’s great if you match your partner and see eye to eye about things. Rate the following either ** (essential), * (desirable), or doesn’t matter (no score):

Right age; class; race; good looks; coloring; build; vitality; politics; religion; food; spending money; having children; bringing up children; working in spare time; hobbies; tidiness; fashion sense; musical taste; duties towards parents/friends; punctuality; honesty; fidelity; sex roles.
a. More than 15 rated **.
b. Between nine and 15 rated ** and 15 or more rated *.
c. Less than nine rated ** but more than 15 rated *.
d. Less than six rated **, between nine and 14 rated *.
e. Less than 10 essential ** or desirable *.

10. How do you feel when an affair eventually ends?
a. Disillusioned and let down, rather flat and empty.
b. Resigned – you just couldn’t have tried any harder.
c. What did I do wrong?
d. Glad of the good times, forgetful of the bad; hopeful of occasional friendship now that togetherness is over.
e. What did I ever see in the creep?

11. Which of the following would you consider form a barrier to a possibly serious relationship?

He/she picks his nose in public; lives exclusively on chips; eats food very loudly; snores; he/she kicks dogs; is tone deaf; supports capital punishment; he/she is very vain; his mother/her father is still his/her first love; he/she can’t stop flirting with your friends.
a. All of them.
b. Any of the last five because they sound deeply ingrained (the first five could probably be altered).
c. Only the last two, which would make you feel insecure.
d. He sounds quite a lad – but nobody’s perfect after all.

12. What was the general tone of your school reports?
a. Must raise standards; could achieve much more.
b. Works only as hard as is required but usually gets by.
c. Keen to please, but easily lead.
d. Driven but finds it hard to finish things.
e. A dreamer; never comes to terms with everyday life.

Less than 20
You’re a difficult one! Maybe you are beginning to wonder why you are so often on your own, or have you decided that it is preferable to spending time with members of the opposite sex who simply don’t measure up or eventually let you down? If you realize that it is your perfectionism that presents problems, at least you can decide to lower your sights if the field is becoming deserted. If you don’t have this self-insight you may become rather cynical and blame the wimps, losers and inadequate you are always meeting. Try to develop a bit more tolerance; to see the charm in the weaknesses of human beings. After all, perfection is really only appropriate for works of art or mathematical formulae; people aren’t made that way.

Between 20 and 30
This suggests that you are a romantic, an idealist rather than a perfectionist. You are probably rather dissatisfied with reality, perhaps at risk of taking refuge in fiction if real life just isn’t good enough. Unlike the perfectionist, who is doomed to reject partners because his/her standards are impossible, some day your dream partner may come – if you are patient and very lucky. Romance has a way of looking tacky, even fake, in the cold light of dawn or with the familiarity of many years of domesticity. Try to appreciate more mundane qualities in people or you may reject the one who has really serviceable potential just because their approach may not be right.

Between 31 and 40
You have a pragmatic approach to partnership. It could be a learned attitude rather than one you started out with, or it could be that you are naturally practical and good at making the most of what comes your way. Your loves probably look quite varied but they match you in the important things – social attitudes, intellectual honesty, and sense of humor. Because you do not overload a relationship it may be less intense, but will often last – even beyond the one-to-one stage – and become friendship. You don’t put partners through an examination system, but if you answered ‘a’ to question 4, you are not averse to a little gentle manipulation of your partner.

Between 41 and 50
You are certainly not over-fussy. You are a bit of a chameleon, taking on the color, lifestyle or character of the people you are with. This may be because you are very young and full of admiration for others or perhaps you enjoy altering your personality; you may be a bit of an actress. It does mean that there will never be a shortage of partners, but it could leave you wondering what your true self is like. perhaps you need to practice a little assertiveness. Try disagreeing or saying ‘No’ if you are not enthusiastic about someone or something. Some people make more satisfactory partners than others, so don’t be afraid to assess them and to be more selective.

Over 50
You are either extremely easy-going, which leads you to take on all comers with open arms, or you are actually lacking in self-confidence and you feel you are in no position to be choosy. If your approach to partners leads to a rich and varied social life that you enjoy, it’s probably the former. Watch out, however, if you constantly find yourself doing things that bore you, being treated in a way that you don’t like or simply never getting on the same wavelength as your partner. If your relationships have lasted some time, and you don’t find yourself regretting them, you are getting it right somehow, but be careful not to miss the real gem among all the stones.